


how you change me

by perculious



Category: Kagerou Project
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-10 10:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3286391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perculious/pseuds/perculious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a little tic that pulses through her body when Shintaro annoys her; she wants to reach out electromagnetically and fuck with his stuff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	how you change me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [catwing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/catwing/gifts).



> Okay, so I guess this goes against MCA canon a little because I'm going with "Haruka merges with Konoha and retains his memories" rather than "Konoha dies as a separate entity". WHATEVER.
> 
> Anyway, happy birthday tumblr user revtomdildomolar!!

"I thought you were going to cook.”

"We did not agree to that," Takane says, folding her arms across her chest and narrowing her eyes. Shintaro always looks vaguely feverish—pale with a sick sheen of sweat across his forehead. He boggles at her with his big dumb Shintaro face.

"Of course we did. When we talked about it—"

"We said we'd make dinner. I didn't say _I'd_ make dinner."

Shintaro huffs out a breath. "Yeah, but I assumed, you know."

"Because I'm a _girl_?" There's a little tic that pulses through her body when Shintaro annoys her; she wants to reach out electromagnetically and fuck with his stuff. Her fingertips itch. Shintaro loves nothing more than his computer, and even though she's happy not to be a cybergirl anymore, it was cool being the girl holding everything Shintaro loves hostage. She wants to grab his unfinished documents and squeeze until he backs down.

"Kido cooks," Shintaro says, defensive. Showing off his impressive knowledge of like one whole other person besides her and Haruka. Takane suppresses an eyeroll.

"That's great for Kido! Maybe we should call her over!"

“It’s supposed to be from us.”

“I was _joking_.”

“Well, it was a stupid joke.” Shintaro shoves his hands in his pockets and glares at her. He’s all hunched up, shoulders tucked against his ears, like a turtle glaring out from the safety of its shell. “I should have known you couldn’t do it, anyway.”

“I never said that,” Takane says quickly. She’s still more capable than Shintaro, no matter what the life skill.

“I mean, you did spend the last two years on my computer, so I guess—”

“Yeah, so I was connected to the whole Internet.” Takane pokes both index fingers into her temples. “I know things. I know everything. I can do it, I just didn’t want you to _assume_ I was going to do it.”

“You just decided that right now!” Shintaro says hotly. “Now you’re going to pretend like you were going to cook all along when this was my idea in the first place! I don’t even want you to do it anymore!”

“It wasn’t your idea!” Takane says, balling her hands into fists at her sides. 

“Yes, it was. You said it was Haruka’s birthday tomorrow, and I said we should do—”

“You didn’t even know it was his birthday! You would have just let it pass!”

“That’s not my fault!” Shintaro yells, leaning forward. “I had it in my phone, it’s just been haywire since you left it! You probably planted something in the hardware years ago to make it erase Haruka’s birthday! You just wanted to make me look bad! And as soon as I knew, it was my idea to—”

“So get a new phone already!” Takane says, jabbing a finger into his chest. “It can’t be that messed up, or you would have! Or does it not have a problem loading porn?”

That does it. Shintaro’s eyes bulge and his entire face and neck goes red, all the way up to the tips of his ears. After a second, he speaks, his voice a desperate hiss. “I don’t watch porn on my phone,” he says. “ _Which you know_.”

She does, actually. It’s like he doesn’t feel truly safe being the disgusting person he is unless he’s locked in his room divinely communing with his PC.

“Look, neither of us can cook,” she says. “We’ll just have to look up a recipe.” There’s probably a YouTube video that can show them what to do.

“Fine,” Shintaro says. “I won’t tell Haruka that you didn’t know how to do it if you don’t.”

“That _we_ didn’t know,” Takane corrects him sharply. “Fine. Agreed.”

Shintaro pulls out his busted phone, and they huddle over it, Takane’s pigtails bumping against Shintaro’s head. 

-

// _two years earlier_ //

If Takane ever let herself imagine a world where she was herself again and Haruka was Haruka—which she didn’t, because Takane learned fast that it was easier not to let those thoughts in—she’d have imagined Shintaro as, like, a distant acquaintance. Someone who came by for lunch sometimes, didn’t stay long, and spent most of the time thanking her profusely for spending so much time bugging his gross butt to pick up his room and eat something before he succumbed to caffeine poisoning.

But the irritating thing (everything about Shintaro is irritating) is that he totally refuses to be happy, even though everything’s over. Ayano’s _alive_ , Haruka’s _okay_ , Takane is a _person_ , Shintaro managed to find people who could stand to be around him sometimes, which, in Takane’s opinion, is reason enough for Shintaro to spend the rest of his life in a temple somewhere thanking his deity of choice. And after everything she went through trying to nudge Shintaro out of the house, doesn’t she deserve to see Shintaro happy? Doesn’t she deserve to be able to turn her back on him, finally, and forget about the most embarrassing two years of her life?

But he’s not, and he can’t even hide it, moping around the Mekakushi Dan hangout like a guilty dog. It’s annoying trying to include Shintaro in stuff when he complains about everything that involves effort, and even more annoying to endure his gloomy silences if he’s not invited. So they keep inviting him—to the mall, to the movies, out to eat—and Takane keeps having to see his gross miserable face sulking all the time, and hear him whine about how much he hates this kind of place (it’s every kind of place).

Finally, she takes Haruka by the hand, leads him into the room they’ve been sharing, and sits him down on the bed. He blinks curiously up at her through his bangs, and Takane ignores the unsteadiness that rockets through her. There’ll be time to admire Haruka’s eyelashes and soft mouth later.

“Look,” she says firmly, crossing her arms over her chest. “You and Shintaro. Shinato and Konoha. You had something going on, right?”

Haruka shrugs, smiling brightly. “I think so. Why?”

Typical Haruka: disarmingly straightforward and completely opaque at the same time.

“Well, did you—I mean, do you—I mean, you know, do you like him?” Takane’s worried he’ll take this as insecurity, but qualifying the question with “not that I mind” or something would just make it worse, so she tries to look as confident and self-assured as possible. She probably just looks pissed off; it’s what her Takane face always defaulted to back in middle school, although Ene was different.

“Well, we’re friends,” Haruka says. His voice is soft, and like most things, it makes Takane like him more. Ugh.

“I know,” she says, frustrated. “But I mean, is it like—do you like him—like you like me.” She hears her voice falter on the last part. Stupid, stupid, humiliating. Her face heats up, conscious of Haruka’s placid gaze—more human, but still retaining something of the quality of Konoha’s glassy pink eyes. She knows Haruka likes her—more than likes her—it’s become clear now, okay, they’ve said what they needed to say, they share a bed for god’s sake, but it’s still embarrassing to say it out loud, and she’s embarrassed that she’s embarrassed. Like she’s still afraid he’s going to take it back.

“He’s not anything like you,” Haruka says. “I like him in a Shintaro way. He’s funny to be around, and—I remember him from middle school, and I remember him as Konoha, and it was different. I think he wanted to be different, and he wanted me to like him. And I did. As Konoha. I do like him.” He smiles to himself, his eyes crinkling up.

“Well, he likes you,” Takane says, hating that this is her life—matchmaking her boyfriend and Shintaro Kisaragi, of all people. “And I think he wants to be with you, you know, he wants to date you.” She can’t stop a tiny bit of revulsion from creeping into her voice, but she swallows it down. Shintaro _is_ disgusting, but this particular thing about him isn’t digusting, just sad and difficult to watch. “So if you like him, you should date him. I want you to, okay?”

“He likes Konoha,” Haruka says, shrugging again.

Takane shakes her head. “No, no, I refuse to be the one who has to convince you that Shintaro likes you. Not when he practically radiates sadness waves from his body whenever you’re in the room. This is really stupid, okay, I don’t really care if you guys get together, but I love you and”—oops, didn’t mean to say that, whatever, take a breath and move on—”if you like him back and this is something that would make you happier then it’s just _stupid_ that you’re both being stupid about it! Did you guys even kiss when you were Konoha? Of course not. That’s because I have to do everything in Shintaro’s stupid life. He should have at least kissed you.”

“He bought me a soda,” Haruka says, uncertain.

“Of course he did, _ugh_. I can’t believe this.” Takane glares at him. “Can you please tell him you like him, because honestly, I don’t want to have this same talk with Shintaro. It’ll be about ten times more annoying and he’ll just look sad every time I mention you, which makes it really hard for me to continue being annoyed! And I really like being annoyed at Shintaro!”

It hangs in the air for a moment—just enough time for Takane to regret everything about the entire last five minutes.

“Okay,” Haruka says.

“Just okay? That’s all you have to say?”

“Yeah,” Haruka says, beaming at her. Honestly.

They work something out. Takane doesn’t know what Haruka says because that’s not a conversation she wants to be there for—although the Ene part of her _really_ wants to watch Shintaro fumble his way through a love confession—but the upshot of it is that Haruka starts spending some nights at Shintaro’s house, and Shintaro stops leveling accusing looks at every wall in the apartment like it personally caused his unhappiness. Sometimes he even looks like he’s _not_ nauseous and on the verge of tears, which is like the Shintaro version of being happy.

At first they spend time with Haruka separately, by unspoken agreement between Takane and Shintaro. But Haruka isn’t in on the agreement, so he keeps inviting both of them out to cafes, or sitting between them on the couch while they’re playing video games and not at _all_ being careful about who exactly he’s snuggling with. 

So it just gets easier to spend time all together, rather than scheduling it out. And anyway, Takane likes watching Haruka's face when Shintaro does something dumb like get him chocolates. Even though it’s obvious to her that Shintaro should be doing everything differently, and if she was still living in his phone she’d have enough blackmail material for years. And then they try all three of them sleeping in Takane’s bed, and after a couple cramped nights with Takane smashed against the wall, Haruka’s elbow digging into her side and Shintaro’s cold toes somehow on her ankle from the other side of the bed, they decide to get their own place, with a big bed. And Takane’s life is officially Shintaro’d, forever and ever. Like a chronic disease, or a cockroach infestation.

-

The plan was to cook a big meal to surprise Haruka, but when they hear the door open, Takane is scraping burned rice off the bottom of the pot with a wooden spoon and Shintaro is in the third round of “maybe the salmon just needs more vinegar.” Takane looks up in horror, and Shintaro freezes, the bottle still tipped over the pan and dripping onto the fish.

They shoo Haruka into the bedroom, which he accepts with typical flexibility, and then Takane puts her hands on Shintaro’s shoulders and looks him right in the eye. It’s a little hard, because he’s taller than her, but she manages it.

“Listen,” she says urgently. “We’re doomed.”

Shintaro nods, his face pale and the bags under his eyes more pronounced than ever. “This is a disaster.”

“Yeah. Haruka can’t even know about this.”

“We have to move out.”

Takane hums in assent. “Let’s go out the window.”

“Let’s go live with the Dan again.”

“We should just throw out all the pots and buy new ones.”

“Maybe we can just keep him out of the kitchen forever.”

Takane giggles. “You mean keep him in the bedroom.”

“ _Takane_.” Shintaro flushes pink all over his face and neck, which is honestly hilarious. They have _had sex_ —not with each other, but, like, together, in the same space—and Shintaro still gets embarrassed at the implication that he’s ever had a sexual thought in his life. Not like Takane hasn’t seen every jpeg he’s ever saved to his desktop and saved as “ENE GO AWAY.”

“Okay,” she says. “What are we going to do? Haruka is going to want dinner.” Haruka usually cooks. Because he knows how, but also because he can make the portion sizes he wants. Typically, Shintaro and Ene both take a bowl and then Haruka just moves the pot next to him on the table.

“Let’s take him out to the noodle place he likes,” Shintaro says. “And tell him we’ll pay. For his birthday.”

Takane leans back and drops her hands from his shoulders. “That’s a good idea. That’s almost romantic!”

“You don’t have to sound surprised,” Shintaro says, wounded. He glares down at her.

“I am surprised. It’s extremely surprising.”

“No, it’s not! I’m perfectly good at romance!” Shintaro says hotly. “I can’t believe you still don’t believe that!”

“Hello! This whole mess was your idea in the first place, and look where it got us!”

“You just admitted it! I told you it was my idea! I told you and you said it wasn’t!” His voice is rising in volume and pitch.

It’s too easy. Takane starts giggling again, and Shintaro deflates. He snorts and looks away, pretending he wasn’t mad.

“Come on, let’s go get Haruka,” Takane says. “What are you stalling for?”

“I _wasn’t_ —” Shintaro starts again, but then stops, realizing she’s messing with him. He scowls, hating to be caught in an awkward situation.

Takane doesn’t take it any further; she turns and skips off to the bedroom.

“Hey, wait!” Shintaro says behind her. He always sounds a little desperate, like he’s convinced anything he wants is too much to ask for. It used to annoy her, back when they were trapped together. She wanted to shake him and tell him to stand up for himself. That was always the problem—it was funny to bug Shintaro until it wasn’t, when he’d stop arguing and just accept whatever insult she threw at him. It wasn’t fun when he actually believed her.

That never happens now, so she just speeds up, racing him to the door. She hits it first with both hands, and an instant later, she feels Shintaro’s hands close around her shoulders, trying to pull her back. She blindly thrusts her elbow behind her, connecting with his ribcage, and there’s a moment where they’re both fumbling, grabbing clothing and flailing limbs, simultaneously trying to pull away from each other and not let the other pull away. Shintaro’s foot connects with Takane’s ankle, and she stumbles, falling against the door right as Haruka opens it.

They crash into him, Takane’s face hitting his chest. Shintaro lurches away from her, straightening up and brushing himself off like he’s trying to get the Takane off him.

“Hi,” Haruka says, patting Takane’s head absent-mindedly. “I’m starving. Is there food?”

“Yeah,” Shintaro jumps in, his voice all excited and hopeful. Okay, it was actually his idea, so Takane lets him tell Haruka that they’re going to take him out to the noodle place. Haruka’s face lights up, like it typically does when anticipating large amounts of food, and Takane’s heart does a pirouette in her chest. It’s awful, having a body—when Haruka’s around her internal organs are always twisting or expanding or doing something else horrible and corporeal.

“Wow, that’s great! Thank you!!” Haruka says brightly. He leans forward and kisses Shintaro softly, and then leans way down—Kenjirou could have at least added a couple of inches while he was preserving her body in a creepy science tube—and presses his lips to Takane’s. She can feel her face heat up—gross, it’s like she’s Shintaro or something—but she kisses him back. Haruka makes her feel every nerve ending of her living body.

When Haruka pulls back and turns to get his stuff, Takane pulls Shintaro down by the shirt collar and whispers in his ear, “Nice, look! You made him happy.”

Shintaro looks at her sideways, his eyes wide with suspicion. “What does that mean?”

Whatever! She was trying to be nice. “Never mind,” she says, rolling her eyes.

Next year, they’re definitely calling Kido.


End file.
